Farewell First Love
by MarshmallowTree
Summary: Songfic. Gilbert and Natalia. On some relationships which have no clear ending.


Dear awesome possible reader,

First of all, Hetalia: Axis Powers® and all its characters do not belong to me, but to H. Himaruya. The chosen song is ,,Bleeding Heart", by a brazilian power metal band called Angra, if you want, here's the link: http:/wwwyoutubecom/watch?v=SHSN2DQey4Y (just need to type the points). It's a rather cheesy song but I like it very much, though it brings me some nostalgia, well... must bear with that huhuhu. This story has no intention of earning profits. Please do not sue me. And also, please be supportive and bear with my many grammar and mispelling mistakes.

Without further ado, thank you.

MarshmallowTree.

[Songfic – Bleeding Heart - Angra]

[Manga: Hetalia: Axis Powers]

Ps: Must warn you the characters are completely OOC.

* * *

><p>I loved her. Since the very first day I saw her I knew I'd love her forever.<p>

Her name? Natalia Braginskaya.

My glory yet my disgrace was to meet her.

She was friends with my best friend, Toris and he introduced us. We became instant friends, I mean, after we became instant foes due to a little argument we had about some verses of Lord Byron. We both liked poetry and we both were stubborn enough to not admit any mistakes. In the end, we were both wrong.

She was a nihilist, atheist, communist, while I was an ultra-romantic, gothic, book-worm.

She had some problems with her dad, I had problems with myself.

She tried to commit suicide, while I used to drown myself into _spleen,_ cigars, philosophy and lethargy. This mix has found fertile ground in our childish hearts, then.

In a few weeks, I asked her out; in a few months I asked her to be my girlfriend. I have never loved someone before as I loved her.

Despite our differences, we managed to keep on with this bizarre combination. She wanted to save me from my stupor and I wanted to saver her from herself. What a strange couple!

Everyday was like a heavenly gift, for I had my muse, my love, the woman I knew I'd spend my life with; However, that damn split personality she had!

She was able to distort each and every word I'd say when she wanted to, and that hurt me so much.

I learned to live with the constant shadow of her bi-polarity and her low self-esteem. Thou I was the idiotic kind of romantic guy, always telling her I loved her and constantly demonstrating my feelings – even though it's difficult for me to actually demonstrate my emotions -, it seemed I wasn't enough for her and she always found ways to crash with my mental health.

Nonetheless, I loved her.

She was the only person capable of making my heart pound in my chest by simply looking at me, or telling she loved me.

Natalia was one of the most bright persons I've ever met, and we used to spend hours talking about absolutely everything. From politics and philosophy to the latest video game.

Our souls were so entwined I could ,,feel" her thoughts, her anguishes, her fears.

One day, she called me. Grave voice:

- Meet me. We need to talk.

She didn't need to tell anything further. I knew what was going on.

,,_Now I know that the end comes", _I thought to myself when I arrived in the Park. Couldn't help an annoying feeling of nausea in the bottom of the stomach.

Natalia waved at me from a bench under a great oak. It was july and the warm breeze whipped our faces gently.

She could not conceal a grave countenance, nor the seriousness in her blue eyes.

_-You knew since the beginning – _she said.

We did not need further words. I understood everything._  
>Didn't want to believe it's true.<br>-You are alone again, - _I said.

_- My soul will be with you – _she said.

She stood up and walked away, tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

I drowned myself into a sea of depression and questions

,,_Why is the clock even running  
>If my world isn't turning?<br>Hear your voice in the doorway wind  
>You are alone again I'm only waiting"<em>

I cried for her every single day since she broke up with me. My intent was to write thousands of poems to send her, begging her to come back to me.

Crying out her name, I spent countless sleepless nights, plotting stratagems to win her back. I wrote:

_You tear into pieces my heart  
>Before you leave with no repentance<br>I cried to you, my tears turning into blood  
>I'm ready to surrender<br>You say that I take it too hard  
>And all I ask is comprehension<br>Bring back to you a piece of my broken heart  
>I'm ready to surrender<em>

Finally, the lightning of clarity hit me with veiled bang and

_I remember the moments  
>Life was short for the romance<br>_So, as I always knew that

_Like a rose it will fade away_

And I made up my mind:_  
>I'm leaving everything<em>

I had to forget my love for Natalia, otherwise I'd be helplessly insane!

It took me five years to get her a bit over, to finally realize and analyze what we had been.

_No regrets, war is over  
>The return of a soldier<br>_But still, I

_Put my hands on my bleeding heart_

I could never be myself anymore, so I took the biggest decision of my life:_  
>I'm leaving all behind<br>No longer waiting_

Before leaving, I took the last piece of paper and wrote, also the last letter, which simply said:

_You tear into pieces my heart  
>Before you leave with no repentance<br>I cried to you, my tears turning into blood  
>I'm ready to surrender<br>You say that I take it too hard  
>And all I ask is comprehension<br>Bring back to you a piece of my broken heart  
>I'm ready to surrender<em>

I folded the letter, put it in an envelope and sent her. After that, I could not tell anymore what happened nor if she may have received it or not, the only thing I know is

_I've waited for so long!_

And still, my feelings won't change.

However, I must bid you farewell, my first love.


End file.
